Biting the Bullet

I did it, I joined weight watchers this weekend. I have been wavering on whether to join or not and the thing that was keeping me from it was the money. Well they had a buy one month, get one month free. I had a little of my blow money (money that Jon and I allocate ourselves each week to spend however we want) and decided to just go for it. Jon said I should take household money, but I have a history of trying things and not following through. I would feel guilty if I took household money and then didn't follow through. So we decided that I would use $10 from household and the rest would be mine for the first two months and then re-evaluate on how things are going. I may continue with the system or I may just continue to use what I have learned, we will see.
This is something I am doing just for me. Jon doesn't think I need to lose weight (did I ever mention how much I LOVE that man?) but I don't feel happy with my weight or my eating habits. I am hopeful that this will help in both areas. I am also hopeful that doing this will help me with some of my depression issues, which can stem from not exercising enough and not eating right. Everything seems ten times worse than it is when I have not been eating right, boht Jon and I have noticed this. I am not saying that a diet will cure my ppd-related problems. But I am hopeful that eating right and exercising (as well as prioritizing my life better) will help me be better able to cope with ppd.
My goal is to lose 20 pounds before my birthday in February. If I make it to 15 and can't lose more I am okay with it, since I am still breastfeeding Ben. I know Feburary is a long way off but I want to be realistic. At 1 pound a week I am looking at 20 weeks to lose it all, possibly more if I have setbacks or plateaus. So February 7 seems reasonable. I am not looking for a quick fix (as nice as that would be!) but soemthing long term. I try to eat healthy foods but I am really bad about snacking and not eating actual meals.
I will try to post weekly updates. I can't go to my first meeting until Wednesday but I am already tracking my points and making meal plans based around what I should eat rather than what is super easy to grab in the fridge. I am also being better about portions!