Where will you be...

We went to church on Sunday and our priest asked a question that really made me think. He asked "where will you be when you get where you're going?" in reference to our Lenten journey and our journey in life.

At first I was thinking, what is he asking? What does that mean? I'll be where I want to be of course. But as he talked I started thinking more and more about what he was asking (well between the times I was pulling Madeline off of the back of the pew or out from under it and handing Owen his stickers...going to church with kids is not as religious as it should be!). I unfortunately missed a lot, due mostly to kids under pews and sticker issues and snacks and such. Sometimes I really wonder why we go to church. But that is another post for another time.

I started to think about Father's question on my own. Where will I be when I get where I am going? Where will I be at the end of Lent? Will be I where I want to be? Or will I just need somewhere else to go? And this can be applied to the time outside of Lent as well. It can be applied to goals in my life. Or even this pregnancy, I am going to have a baby at the end but where will I be then? What am I doing along the way?

I think way to much about the future. I plan for everything, where we are going, what we are doing, who we will see, what we will do. I always need to have a plan. But what about now? What about today?

For instance I plan on activities that I will do with my children through the week but I don't always just enjoy the simple playtime. I allow them to free play, which is something they need, but I don't involve myself in it often enough. I have found that I spend too much of that time on my computer. For that reason I am not allowing myself to use my computer before noon each day during Lent. I originally had said that I would not be giving things up for Lent, rather I would do things for others and involve my family. But after losing an hour on Friday to the computer because my kids were quiet (and boy what a mess they quietly made!) I realized that this is something I need to change. So for the rest of Lent I will not touch my computer before noon. I won't add things into quicken, I won't check email, I won't check my blog or anyone other blog until I have spent the morning with my family. I am even including the times Jon may take the kids and let me sleep in.

My kids are young but they grow up so quickly. Madeline is going to preschool in the fall, seriously how did that happen? Owen is almost 2 and no longer the baby! And number 3 will be here in a few months. My family is growing and they deserve my attention. I hope at the end of Lent I will be more balanced in both the planning and the spontaneous play with my children.

In addition I am going to try and grow by reading to Madeline and Owen from their children's bible and involving activities and crafts for them to learn from. I am also going to try and set aside time for me to read my bible each day. This is something I have never made time for. And my goal for Lent is to set just 10 minutes a day aside for bible reading and reflection.

Where will I be when I get where I am going? Hopefully I will have a better balance in my life. And hopefully I won't have missed to much along the way in pursuit of my goal.

Where will you be when you get where you are going?

Blegh

I feel like crud. It started yesterday afternoon. Just feeling off. Jon suggetsed I drink more water. So I did and felt a little better. We went out to the spray park and then came home and had dinner. I felt fine. Then last night it got worse. Headache and stomachache. Jon suggested I drink more water again. At this point I had drank over 64 ounces of water. So I tried soda thinking it was a lack of caffeine headache. I chased it with tylenol.
And felt worse.
This morning I woke up feeling better than last night, but not well. If Jon was home I would have crawled back into bed, but Jon had to work and since I was functioning there was no reason for him not to go in (plus summer school ends on Friday and grades were due today). So Jon went to work and I ate nothing all morning. I drank A TON of water. At lunch time I felt better and light headed (probably from eating nothing...) so I tried a little lunch. And felt worse. More water, saltines and lying down.
Feeling a little better but off.


The highlight was having the kids paint the windows. I'll post pictures when I feel better. It was hysterical!

Extreme Makeover-Me Edition

Amber at {aefilkins} does Extreme Makeover: Me Edition each week. I love it because there are other moms like me!

This has been a better week overall. I have not been to the gym. But I have walked every day, some days twice a day. And that is something I feel good about. I am trying to watch what I eat (and not in terms of watching the ice cream disappear as I eat it). I am drinking a lot more water. But. The scale is not moving.
I am still nursing O once a day. He is stuck on his bedtime nursing and at 14 months I am not in a hurry to wean him. If it is part of the reason I cannot lose the 5 pounds that I am okay with that. But as much as I would like to think it is the reason, I really don't think 20 mionutes of nursing a day will keep on the 5 pounds.

I am eating healthier. And I am walking. And I drinking lots and lots of water (and peeing lots and lots as well, but I guess that is the price I pay). It frustrates me that the scale will not move. I will not accept that this is my weight. I cannot accept it because I am not happy with the way parts of my body look.

I am considering dropping my gym membership and dusting off my exercise dvds. Becuase let's face it. As much as I would love to be that mom who goes to the gym at 5 am I am not. I like my sleep. And going to bed at 8 pm is not cutting it (especially since O is nursing at 8:15-8:30). I am thinking that it is time to dust off the old dvds that I bought after M was born in hope of losing the baby weight. They helped but it was hard with her on a wierd schedule to find time to do them. Now both kids nap in the afternoon, so finding a few afternoons a week to do my dvds would not be hard at all. I want to tone my arms and upper body. I have been looking at hand weights at Amazon.com. Any suggestions? I am thinking a set of 5 pounders becuase then I can double up in one hand for 10 lbs for some exercises.

I did go shopping last night and bought some cute shirts, a new skirt and a new pair of jeans. It is not my old size four *sigh* or my pre-wedding-no-time-to-eat size twos (yes I did wear a size two, but those clothes were quickly followed by "I am cooking for a new husband and happy" size fours again) but it is a size six and maybe that is what I am meant to be for now. I think I can be okay with that.

Except, I may be pregnant in the next few months (still trying to figure that one out). And then the clothes won't fit and this weight loss will be for nothing. Well, not nothing. But still...

I did well with my goals from last week. I didn't make it to the gym but I did make my other goals. So my goals for this week are:
1. Continue to walk with the kids each day, trying to walk farther this coming week.
2. Drink more water and less soda
3. Eat more fruit and vegetables
and the new goal for this week:
4. drink milk with dinner to help feel fuller in a healthy way.