Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Speaking my mind....

I always struggle with how to tell someone I am upset with something they have done. Sometimes I try to let it go, tell myself it wasn't a big deal. But then the same incident (or something similar) will happen again with the same person. And since I never said it bothered me I know it is partly my fault. But still I don't say anything.
I was going to post a for instance story but I don't think it is right, it is just me complaining. But I honeslty don't know how to talk to someone, in a non-confrontational way, if they are not a close friend about something they have done that is bothering me. If it is small I feel like I should let it go, but on the other hand if it bothers me I can't expect it to stop unless I find a way to talk about it.
Okay, so this is still a venting post. But if you have ways that you approach people please share them with me. I want to be able to stop things that bother me from happening but I am always afraid that I will offend someone, or be told that I am blowing things out of proportion. I don't know why I feel this way, most of the time when I vent to Jon he agrees that I have the right to be irritated.
Okay, I am done whining. If you made it this far, thanks for reading!


Anonymous said...

I have just been through this. Somone left a comment on my blog that is unfounded on all points :(

I have a 24 hour rule (normally) .. during this 24 hour rule I usually sound off to my Husband or Mum (at least with them you know any emotional words stay there and are not taken out of context).

If after 24 hours it is still affecting me I feel then it is something that needs addressing. But I hate confrontation ... so if it is a rumor/gossip like the highschool kind of stuff, I ignore it. Why? Because these things usually have a short shelf life.

I also try to put my self in the shoes of the offender/problem causer. What made them react that way? Are they envious, insecure .. usually find if it's a problem with them you will not be able to solve. If this person is in a close circle with you, either politely avoid them or just get on like nothing ever happened.

I think the worst we can do is react. It gives a person power, that we need not fuel.

Now of course I am addressing this as if a person close to you has had a hand in this .. if it's something else like a company, I often find a well worded letter demanding a reply within2 weeks does the trick.

Anonymous said...

.. You know a dear friend told me once "we cannot control what others do to us, but we CAN control the reaction we have to it and the path we choose to take" ..

Shelby said...

I will admit - I am not sure how to solve it either - I do the same thing... I love the post left above this one and agree!